Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
