yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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