It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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