I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
