every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize