Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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