I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
