She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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