just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
