i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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