ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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