Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
