Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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