What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize