i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's blow job season.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
