I cut my penus on the lid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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