I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
