Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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