I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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