Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
