What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
