So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
