Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
