I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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