dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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