i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize