she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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