New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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