Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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