I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
