I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
