so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
