i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
