i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
