I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
