she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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