If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
