didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize