see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
