we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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