Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize