Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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