I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
