so that wasnt chicken after all
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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