if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
