forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
