Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At least life still wants to fuck me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
