The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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