her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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