Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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