Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
