You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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