More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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