Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
