The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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