Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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